Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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