I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
