you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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