i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
