She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
