I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
