So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
