dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
