in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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