One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
