it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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