I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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