Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
