drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
