He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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