She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
