i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
