There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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