He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
