fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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