is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Actions speak louder than pants.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
