Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
