you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
