Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
