so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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