sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
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Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
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They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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