I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Can I color on your dick again?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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