her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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