I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
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After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
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Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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