Cold hands, warm shart.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
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Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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