worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
