She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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