Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
