yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i drank out of a bidet.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
