I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I am naked and annoyed.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
