Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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