mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize