We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize