please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
