Whod you bang
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
There's a naked man in my car right now.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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