omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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