it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
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i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
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My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
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