can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
