i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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