so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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