So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
