There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
