I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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