I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
