i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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