help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
