so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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