I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
How's work?
Spinning.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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