what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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