Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
