i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize