Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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