you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
