Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
