he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My bed smells like the plague
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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