so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
