Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
