There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize