He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
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