okay pat passed out under dana's car
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
