I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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