It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
So. Much. Porn.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
