Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
