ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
